[kin]

I never imagine myself to have this feeling and saying this one day.

Gambling is not my lover anymore. I am very worried about this lover, I am afraid of getting hurt deeply by this ex lover again.

Any of my falsehood and lies was dangerous, any attempt to renew or maintain a platonic friendship with this lover only bring back more pain and turn my life upside down.

Each time takes an awefully long time to recover from the hurt and damage. I do not need this in my life anymore.