Both great posts, and I see the value in each of them. I was really only trying to get my faulty thinking out into the open. The truth is that money can be earned, but mental health cannot. Trust and money are both the same. They take a long time to earn, but they can be lost in an instant.
Today is only day 8 for me, but I suppose because now I know I can’t gamble, it’s harder. I am reminded that I can’t gamble, and I am reminded of all the damage it has done me, and my family. I see myself as a loser, an addict, someone who put the false priority over real ones. I ignored by business as it was more ‘exciting’ the play low stakes poker. The fact that in an hour I couldn’t really win more than £10 didn’t come into my thinking – but I could lose much more by playing badly/ on tilt/ calling with shit cards. And then I would get depressed and chase.
No, I know that if I gamble again it will be more than money I lose. I might lose whatever dignity I have left, and that’s not much.
Vera and The End, thanks for posting. I will re-read them again. Of course now I want the big win to finish, but that is the addict talking. It’s a common misconception, another gambler’s fallacy. The truth is that wins are few and far between, and if you are gambling, you will never hold onto it. And the gambling companies know this.
Love to both of you and everyone else
M