My days have been better…i have been spending more time concentrating on doing things i have been putting off for so long…and feeling good about getting it done…my husband has been spending a good amount of time here but im not expecting anything as of now…i don’t want to be let down when he leaves to go back to his grandparents (were he is living temporarily)..so i prepare myself and pray..spend my time when im alone at night in my bible and joined a ladies bible study as well..he knows he can come home but is waiting until he feels he can have a “game plan” on how to keep himself in check and not take his issues out on myself and our children…im seeing slight changes that im really happy about..his view towards our finances and bills are more important to him and taking the responsiblity to help me manage the bills that he takes care of out of his checks…also im noticing he has been more attentive of my feelings this week (thats new, hes always been selfish and its gotten pretty bad until the addiction came to light) and that really makes me feel good… he’s been showing up to Church on the days he is off of work and allows me to pray with him occasionally and thanks me for it ( my faith is new and a change not only for my but for him)..I feel like things are moving in the right direction…im realizing life is not so black and white anymore…there is no your either with me or your not…the gray area is so huge in an addicts life its hard to organize my thoughts sometimes..especially since we have three kids involved…i do suffer from codependency..and have been in counseling for it and made alot of progress for myself during our time apart..
