Because in the past I have just redeposited. I need to stop. Not just block myself, but stop. I find ways around blocks, especially when motivated by the urge. I need to stop betting. I need to go a few days without betting and build the will and ability to do that. From what I can tell from researching, the initial effort to quit requires going at least 30 days. That seems to be the hardest first goal to hit. After that, there’s still the added need to avoid relapse. But that appears to occur when people believe they can now control their wagering and start again. I’m in the early stage. I need to go 30 days without betting and start getting the urge to dissipate. Then I can work at more permanent barriers to avoid relapsing. But right now, I’ll find away around barriers. I need to get myself to stop. I have to get through my first goal of 30 days. I’m close to getting through day 1 with funds and opportunity available. If I can do this, it will go a long way to boosting my confidence in my ability to completely stop.
I know it’s a long road, and a lot more battles to win in this war. I’ve got to get 30 days under my belt and see what that does for my urge. Hopefully it will reduce it. But I won’t know until I get there. I hate being a compulsive gambler.