A little update from me, the threats are continuing about how as I’ve not helped him we should break up. He’s sending the most awful messages, like screenshots of messages about events saying I can’t come, and he is already planning his life without me… then 5 mins later sending me a picture of a horse race and the odds, that particular horse won and he then sent a screenshot of that too.
I am still holding my nerve and still remaining calm, even though I just want to shout, scream and cry. I have of course not given in – I recognise the pattern now and I still hold in my mind that he doesn’t want to be like this and I choose to think he will be disgusted by his behaviour. I am responding reconfirming the boundaries conversations we’ve had also explaining that I’m not giving in because I want to protect us. I love him very much and I’m struggling to understand how he can do this to himself, and me too.
The gambler in him is so toxic to his wellbeing, it is awful to see.
I haven’t seen him yet, I intend to wait but I expect to see him this week. He has been telling me all sorts of lies about getting paid Monday so it will be ok to lend him money, the desperation in his tone of text is so sad. I wish he could see it. I am hopeful he will see it again soon. It hurts so much especially knowing I can’t really help him unless he wants to help himself.
I at least feel proud of myself for not backtracking on our serious conversation about boundaries on Sunday. I can say that I have not enabled him this week and that alone is an achievement for me.
Thanks
Amy