After chatting on one of the groups last night I actually felt better and a bit more in control. That was until I started getting all jittery this afternoon. I managed to over-ride the gamban software on my phone and found a site that I haven’t banned myself from. As usual I convinced myself that ‘I’ll just do a tenner’, which for hours that was all I spent as I won a few times. Eventually the winnings ran out and I deposited more money, believing that I would win again.
Now the guilt and self loathing starts, I feel so stupid to get suckered again after such a positive start to the day.
I think some of it must be boredom, which combined with the cravings is a disaster.
I’m trying to keep positive, tomorrow I will try and be mindful that boredom lets the cravings in. If I can keep myself busy and occupied with other things maybe it will help.
My thoughts and best wishes are with you all.
