Just popping on to celebrate another day. I paid bills this morning that in the past I have hidden from. I sent money to a friend to pay for a trip in August that I’m looking forward to, instead of fearing.
When you’re in the depths of gambling your focus is purely on the slots in that moment. You are chasing wins and the adrenaline rush of the slots spinning round and round. In that moment the blinkers are on and nothing else seems to matter!
I wouldn’t, for some bizarre reason, be thinking about tomorrow or next week. About the bills that would be due in 5 days or the big expense of Christmas around the corner (hello me at the end of last year). All I cared about was playing the games.
Of course if you’re here, you know what happens next. You empty your account. Then look up, wondering where the time has gone and what’s going on around you.
Wait…my £183.40 bill is coming out of my account in two days?! But I just spent every last penny I had!!
In hindsight that seems insane, but I know how easy it is to burry your head in the sand and pretend that nothing is wrong. Looking back, this perspective really gives me hope that I will never go back to being someone who is addicted to gambling.
Steev, I’m grateful for your insight. Before I would think of myself as someone who gambled. Now I look at that person in the past, learning from the behaviour and knowing that I am no longer there.
Moving on is a wonderful thing. It feels incredible.