I have to say, first of all, that I know for a fact that if I hadn’t turned over all of my money to my husband, it wouldn’t be almost 3 weeks.
I’ve been through a multitude of emotions from urges to depression, to anger and self loathing and actually dreaming that I’m gambling, to down right exhaustion but I know in my heart that I did the right thing.
I think the key is that I am acknowledging that I still have the urge, even though all the secrets are out and I have a plan to pay back all money. I had always convinced myself that I was only doing it to try to pay back stuff that was kept a secret. I’m learning.
On the upside, my blood pressure has gone back down to reasonably normal, I’ve been able to lose a little weight and my house has been de-cluttered from top to bottom and there are no more secrets to keep. Full transparency is a weight lifting thing!
Small victories.
