All good advice.
I know everyone at the GA meetings. Been going, on and off, for years. I want to walk in this time with 30 days behind me. Embarrasment and shame, I suppose. That may sound silly, but it is just how I want to do it this time.
I have very little family left that trusts me. Those that do would no longer trust or even speak with me if I told them what I have been doing. Long story, it would definitely not be a wise choice for me.
Barriers. I’m can easily break those. Lines of credit, credit cards, debit cards, bank accounts, stocks…I can’t tell everyone I do business I’m a compulsive gambler. Any lines of credit I have would be at risk.
I just simply have to not gamble. The simplest, most difficult thing for me to do, I must. No choice.
I can stop. I know my triggers. I know that I can’t look at sports odds. Looking at those leads me making a bet that won’t cost me much money if I lose. This is what I tell myself. End of the story…every, single time…without exception…ever, is leaving the casino broke from playing blackjack. Broken record. Same deal.
I know what I have to do and that is not gamble.
So how? I have to change myself. Something about my desire for adventure. Not the healthy part, but the destructive part.
Gambling is not in control of me, unless I’m gambling.
Day 9. Done. Day 10, please be as kind.