This is from the EasyWay to Stop Drinking, but it is the exact same thing for me with gambling too.
Talking about his attempt at stopping drinking using willpower alone:
“But because I now understand drug addiction, I know that I would never have been free, no matter how long I’d hung on. The schizophrenia was still there. (he is referring not to actually being schizophrenic, but having the schizophrenic symptom of a failure to recognize what is real which is the delusion of gambling) I believed I was making a genuine sacrifice and that I couldn’t enjoy life without the drug. Time wasn’t altering that belief. On the contrary, it was ingraining it. I took the attitude that I’d rather have the shorter, sweeter life of the addict than the longer, more miserable alternative.”
This summarizes my new understanding about gambling, (and also pot and alcohol for me) in one concise paragraph thanks to EasyWay. The belief that I have had for as long as I can remember, that when I stop gambling, (or using pot or alcohol in my case), that I am making a genuine sacrifice, which makes me believe that I am somehow missing out when I don’t allow myself to do these things. That is the lie of addiction. That is the evil little monster in my head arguing with my rational mind.
It is not a sacrifice to stop my addictions! The only thing I am sacrificing by not doing these things is more pain. I need to reverse the thinking to what is correct, which is that I am missing out on life when these unneeded, unwanted intruders barge in and take over my life. I’m taking my life back now.
I will be visiting some friends tomorrow night which is a monthly ritual I have. We usually “party” the first Saturday night of each month and have been doing this for years. This will be the first time in forever that I won’t be partaking in the pot and alcohol part of the party. I am hopeful I can watch the others do these drugs and feel great that I don’t need them to have fun anymore. Of course I am slightly apprehensive also. I have tried to use the willpower method to not uses at this party before, but it never worked. I got talked into (and talked myself into) using by my friends. I won’t be using the willpower method tomorrow and am hopeful the EasyWay will work.