Hi Dark Energy,
I read your entire thread. You are on the right way. Wish I could help you more.
My (ex) boyfriend and me are also living in a different country from our families. None of his family knows about his addiction. I also have seen some similarities in the struggle and the description of the moody life witout gambling.
There is one main difference, you should be very proud of yourself for being this concious about the problem and the wonderful will you have to face it again and again.
Please keep posting.
Romana