Velvet, Dark Energy,
Thank you so so much for your input.
I feel way lighter after reading your posts.
I have been in a sad mood today beacause the idea of breaking up was painful. First, he comforted me saying he is not intending to leave me, that he is willing to make me happy, that he is going to change… Then a long dicussion followed. He felt I had doubts about the relationship and used that against me saying he can not stay with someone that do not totally trust the relationship. He decided to move out of my place as soon as possible “so I can think calmly”. He says I failed in managing the situation in 2 months, I was very intrusive, looked at things I shouldn’t, acting like a police man… When I replied that it was only because he failed at stoppping gambling, he got confused. I told I had never doubts about the relationship when he was willing to stop gambling. I have doubts now that he doesn’t feel any remorse for gambling and willing to do it again.
I felt he removed me from his way because I was the only reason he doesn’t gamble. Eventhough I told him how much I want to stay by his side, he wants me to reconsider everything. He says he can not offer me more than what he gives me now. That I do not appreciate all the efforts he have made to be here (keeping a job he hates, not having any break, “stopping” the big gambling).
I really think it is over. Our love is not enough as he says.
It broke my heart but we looked for a flat for him (never saw him taking action that quickly). He even asked me if he can afford an hotel till he finds a place. He doesn’t want to share my bed anymore.
His coldness makes me feel it is mind games… but that’s a whole other subject.
I am sad also because I missed the french discussion group… Last week I hoped he would attend it with me.
To be honest, a part of me says I would be happier without all this but another part is terribly sad for moving away…
In the end, he took the decision for us, I hope it is the right one and he won’t relapse totally.