Hi Dark Energy,
Thank you for the reply… it touches me to see how dedicated you are in your answers.
1. I am trying to keep myself first. It is hard as helping used to be sth that made me truly happy.
2. I am trying to learn more and more about this illness
3. I already did before knowing about the gambling issue. I still do believe he will reimburse me.
4. I think he is in the contemplation phase and he made some baby steps into preparation but no firm actions have been made till now.
5 and 6. I give an update lower…
7. No joint accounts. He believes that our problems come from the fact that I check everything he does. He wants to take back the control. He wants to take his responsibilities for being my partner. I like the part of him taking the responsibilities seriously but I suspect it is just a way to gamble without me interfering…
8. Exacrly what I told him
9. Thank you for the support… I truly appreciate all of your advice.
Well, we talked yesterday. He truly sees how he makes me sad and he feels ashamed to take the smile out of my face. He doesn’t even understand why am I still standing by his side.
I didn’t make any ultimatum but it is him that surprisingly did. He said that if he didn’t act like a good partner for me in a month, that means that he doesnt deserve me. As long as he didn’t figure out his life, he can not make me happy. I told him I hated that ultimatum. We discussed the therapy that he “accepted” but I felt it was more me pushing him. We also talked about gambling, he believes he already changed a lot in 2 months. He is not gambling the way he used to do. He though still wants to gamble from time to time. I guess he still believes that it can take him out of his financial situation faster… Right niw he hates his job because it reminds him everyday of his professional failure. He attended high school but struggled finding a first job in his field. When he got accepted, he never dedicated his time to learn, felt overwhelmed and left many career opportunities…
These words said, I felt our relationship was already over, we don’t need that month… I told him that I didn’t want to give up on him but he wished me good luck for the “after him”. We both kept silent after.
I know I shall find happiness elsewhere but right now I am terribly sad. Of course I can move on. Of course I can put myself first. Of course I am tired of being sad. But I had hopes that I truly believed could become true…
- This reply was modified 5 years, 5 months ago by velvet.