living these up and down moments within the same day, sometimes I feel motivated sometimes I feel sad and overwhelmed with my issues, I am fighting back but damn I am in a total mess, it is like I am on a ship with many many holes if you fix one you feel you have done something, but then you look around to see all the other fuckin holes that needs to be closed. and everything is urgent, letterly everything is neglected for a long long time and now I have to fix it urgently.
I don’t know if my life issues caused me to gamble or it the other way around, for sure some of my issues were before I start gambling, but they become worst after gambling and many additional issues came up after gambling, regardless to which caused the other, I have to fill all these fuckin holes to live a worth-living life.