Thanks guys. Today I didn’t gamble, it’s the first day I didn’t bet in a couple weeks… honestly.. only because I had 0 left .. I would always scrounge around some cash to bet but today I did not find any. Sad reality but I feel like one day is better than none even if it was becxayse I literally
Couldn’t bet. Had one on one counselling today. I got a puppy and I think he will be my saviour. The same friend I lost all of his $ on my account bought me the dog… incredible he didn’t want to kill
Me instead want to help me…
I still have major cravings .. also battling substances too.. now the borders closed because of COVID so I can’t see my gf anymore. I think my dog will really help me get through this hell on earth. Tomorrow is day 2. I have such a long road ahead. I might do consumer proposal. The roller coaster of gambling is insane, I keep replaying it over and over. Why did I blow out all that $ on blackjack… the place and game that ruined my life 100x. Felt the same pain 1000x and it’s almost like I enjoy pain. Sports betting at least I was winning … there was more strategy.. but some how I threw it all away on blackjack . I can’t comprehend this. I was so scared to place more than 1000$ per night on sports.. yet I would be ok blowing 30k ina night on cards, I would literally have to lose 30 days in a row on sports to lose what I lose in blackjack in 1 hour.. where is the sense? Where is the logic? Why go back to the place that robbed me of everything. Sorry for venting .. I just can’t process what I have done. It’s INSANITY!! Odds of casino are build to win.. sports at least I was picking good teams vs bad teams: I know it all gambling but at least be smart if you’re going to gamble. I guess I needed this because the sports would just keep fueling my addiction and now I literally can’t bet on anything cuz I’m wiped clean: this is a sign.. this is what needed to happen to learn. This is the rock Bottom I never thought I could reach. And I know there is a further bottom than this. That’s the scariest part. A true monster. A true evil. Lord pray for everyone’s soul.
