Hi Darkenergy,
Remember that poem. To alo quote something I have heard here – suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There is a lot of life and recovery after gambling.
This site can help you with stopping gambling. Lots of other support out there that does the same – other sites, Gamblers Anonymous and more. If you connect to the groups or the Helpline here you can get lots of support.
For the thoughts you have been having there is also support and always somone you can talk to. Here is a link to some of that support. https://www.befrienders.org/
Keep posting, you can’t change what’s happened, you can’t change yopur last bet. You can start taking the positive actions that will make your next one less likely.
Keep posting.