Hi Murr,
As far as will power is concerned, there clearly is none. That’s why this is an addiction. Self will run riot. You have to surrender to this addiction. It is more powerful than you and has you licked.If you choose to place even a $1 bet it will destroy you as your experience has shown again and again. You have to accept and surrender to the fact that you are a compulsive gambler. Gambling will beat you every time and it gets progressively worse.
Like you explained that previously it took months to get into 30k debt. This time you had to pay the price of over 50k in just 3 days. This illness gets progressively worse. This is my experience and apparently yours too.
As for Plaza’s advice. The man is still placing bets on sports so is still feeding his addiction. He wrote:
« I hate myself for the money I have lost through my lifetime and I still continue to gamble on sports betting but that’s always been in moderation. »
I am either working on my recovery or working my addiction. I cannot be doing both at the same time. I cannot be clean whilst gambling even $1. A bet is a bet.
Please keep attending GA meetings. You can’t do this on your own my friend.