It is day#4. Planning ahead for the next few months and looking back to see what went wrong and how to avoid it next time.
looking back on this bloody road of recovery, I can’t say there is no progress but I can say the progress that I have done is depressing. I have tried many ways from willpower, cognitive thinking, road blockers …etc it works somehow but always my demons find a way to break through and gambles again. This time I have switched to crypto trading I couldn’t resist the temptations it is everywhere on the internet in the office, everywhere I go is someone will open the crypto subject, it is a mania .. a bubble and I know that but the day trader in me couldn’t resist the temptation to day trade this clear bull market. I have started with a small amount and small leverage 1:3 to maximize my profits then as usual the gambler kicks in and the leverage moves to the maximum of 1:50 and what started as a trade ends up as gambling with all the bad package that comes with it from ignoring every aspect of my life.. my mind was only thinking about trading watching the market 24/7 forcing orders …..etc.
The key element in recovery is the financial aspect, after paying the gambling debts, how you will progress financially? with the money, the temptation will increase so how to deal with it?
I am single living alone, my family in a different country so the option of handing over the financial control to someone else is not available.
to the irony, I think I should get married not for marriage but to give financial control to the future wife (I guess she should hold a degree in accounting).
I can’t find a way to solve the financial part without handing over the control to someone else.
if anyone has an idea please tell me, this is the main factor in my relapse.