Hi Margie
The chicken and egg situation goes back into the mists of time and I suspect that both your parents could have had very different lives if they had not met one another.
However, they did meet and although they created chaos and misery they also seem to have produced capable and good-to-be-with daughters who are trying to break the mould and that surely is the answer – the chance to jump off the roller-coaster and wring the chicken’s neck.
The positives in your life have been many since you reach adulthood and maybe it is has been your miserable upbringing that has made you so strong.
I believe writing to be therapeutic and here you are writing a children’s book. I wonder if you will have a heroine who overcomes evil and having done that, I wonder how her story will proceed. Those who caused her misery will not deserve sympathy in my book – but I wonder if she will refuse to let their evil ruin any more of her life and I wonder how she will achieve this. You have control of her, you can show her the way.
Maybe its time to say out loud ‘I am better than all the misery you heaped on me, I will write terrific books for children and I will use your unhappy lives to make my writing better.’
I am sure you will understand that my remit is to support those who are living with the addiction to gamble and maybe I am not finding the right words for you but I sure hope you keep posting and maybe between us………………
One final true story before I sign off for now. An 85 year old woman wrote that her husband had died after making her life a misery for years. She determined he was not going to ruin the time she had left and to that end she wrote the nasty things he had done on bits of paper, one nasty action or unkind thing he has said, on each piece. She then went to the top of a hill and threw the bits into the wind, one at a time while crying ‘I am released’. When they were all gone, she went home, got herself a passport (that he had never allowed her to have) and set off on a world cruise with his money. I am sorry I don’t know how the cruise went but I reckon she had a blast.
As Ever
Velvet