Hi Pan
You are not encouraging his cycle. I believe that family and friends have to seek their own recovery just as they want the gambler to do – we can only save ourselves and each individual has to remove themselves from the cycle by determining to do something different.
I am sure the AA and GA meetings would have penetrated your husband’s mind to some depth but it seems that he doesn’t want to listen. He ‘may’ have no desire to stop gambling, thinking wrongly, that he will do it in his own time and when he is ready. It is only when you can recognise the cycle that you can see that this attitude will only lead to more misery.
Drinking lowers resistance and often a gambler must look at both behaviours in order to achieve a gamble-free life, however, many gamblers can have a drink without it leading to a relapse in gambling. It is the excessiveness that is the problem.
Your husband choosing to quit all his support network, is indeed very worrying and it is therefore even more important that you look after you and your daughter first and foremost. I am reasonable sure your husband will blame you but please take no blame, it is unnecessary and will not help you. You are not to blame. Nothing you have done or said makes him gamble.
I think I am maybe seeing a sad hope in your daughter no longer calling for her daddy as much. It often befalls one parent these days to be the role model and I believe that your daughter has an excellent role model in her mother. Hopefully one day, your husband will be able to be a suitable role model too.
Keep posting and I will keep looking out for you
Velvet