This weekend was tough as I really had a lot of urges to gamble, I kept playing different scenarios in my head of how I could gamble. I was able to talk myself out of it by reasoning that even if I were to win, I would just play more and then end up further behind financially or if I lost I would keep losing. My brain tries to tell me that this time I will be able to play just a little bit for fun just like everyone else, but I am getting stronger at reminding myself that for me there is never going to be a little bit of gambling for fun. Having barriers to make it more difficult to gamble is really helping. I read 2 books over the weekend to occupy my mind and spent time outside. On Saturday and Sunday morning when I woke up I initially had the extreme feelings of guilt that I usually get after I gamble, so it was a great surprise to remember that I hadn’t gambled. I am glad I was able to make it through. On my gambling app it provides me with a notification every day with an inspirational quote, today’s is “Nothing will work unless you do” (Maya Angelou). I am on day 17.
