Hi all,
Its with deepest regrets and guilt that i had relapse after staying GF for 127 days. Gambled for excat 2 months and today i’m back to a new journey to start GF.
It is with lots of mental tolls, tireness and distraction of gambling that it affects focus on work, family and personal well being. I believe that gambling is a life time illness for me. I cant cure it but i do need to find ways to stop and to prevent relapse. Something that i will have to accept it, face it and do something about it.
Every period of relapse allow time to move faster then usual when trying to stay GF, sort of happier during gambling moments in certain ways. But however, the same mental tolls , same negative effects will still continue to come back in a same way in the end. I can choose to continue to gamble but it has become too mental tiring and unhealthy that i tell myself to stop this morning and to do what is right.
Good important side is that i had know recently that my wife is expecting our 2nd baby which we been trying for couple of years. I am overwhelmed with happiness and pray that everything will be good. It become even more important for me to be GF!
With this, im determined to work again on staying GF, focusing on work, family and personal health being.
Im worried about relapse, but i believe that i can only take baby steps on each daily day.
Can i do it this time? Can i have a welcome gift to my newborn when he/she is out into the new world that im still on GF and will continue to be?
1st March 2021 @ GF day 1, here i am coming for you!
I will continue to journal and will always welcome any good personal feedback or advice.
I hope we can keep each other motivated in this GF journey and i will be keeping everyone in daily prayers, may god bless and help us all!
Sunny