An update from last week. I once again could not stay disciplined and lost my profit the next day and found myself in a net loss position last Sunday night. I proceeded to gamble some more on Tuesday night and lost that as well. I stayed away for 3 days and foolishly tried to win the lost money back last night. I got VERY LUCKY last night and won back all the money I lost this past week. I continued to play today and actually built up a $25k profit but just foolishly flushed most of that way AGAIN. Rinse, wash, repeat.
Maybe a bright side was I was about to spend more of my winnings but actually had the willpower during this bad streak to stop and walk away. I then wrote in my personal journal for about 45 minutes and then came here to post.
This truly can be a turning point for me. I got a bit lucky this week. Yes, over the last 2+ years I have lost a staggering amount of money (equivalent of two year’s salary) but I am fortunate that I built up a savings over the years, that while these losses were very painful, I still have some savings left and I have a good paying job.
But I need to rid myself of this compulsive habit and I point to tonight as another “Day Zero” moment. I need to stop chasing the past losses. That money is gone. When I got up to $25k today, I had dreams that I could win everything back I lost in the last 2+ years. That was a mistake but like others, when you get engulfed in gambling, you lose your rational thinking. I am actually thankful and hope that my moment of actually stopping while “still ahead” will help me rid most of my very big gambling habits.