Hi Kaifu1990,
Welcome to the forum and well done on reaching out for help, as wally2021 mentioned, know that you are not alone, everyone on the forum can likely associate with what you have written.
I would recommend giving the new members group a try, Charles who mods the group can provide you with some great tips and advice on steps you can take from here, and I have found them very useful. They are on Monday and Thursday.