Day 19
I am good, didn’t think about betting these days. Can’t even imagine now what can make me want to bet. Thankfully, those neural wires and behavior were easier to abandon than when I quit smoking two years ago.
Have talked to psychotherapist who was recommended by a family member. He said that to him I look and talk like an addict who is clean for a while. When I asked why he thinks so, he told me that there are two primary reasons – 1) I don’t have enough risk activities in my day-to-day life (so that once I’ve been high on risk, betting all the time, I will crave such emotions forever and be depressed without them) and 2) it doesn’t look to him that I am going through a deep internal transformation like religious or with the help of psychotherapy (this argument I didn’t like at all, as I feel such transformation going and it seemed to me he just wanted to sell me on multiple expensive sessions with him). Anyway, I don’t think now that I am not a gambler anymore. I think I just know that whatever the outcome of the bet – I will feel bad and so I better avoid it altogether.