71 days.
10 weeks it was yesterday since I last gambled. I’m not gonna ramble on about that anymore as I don’t fancy it.
I had a mate’s birthday party last night, and didn’t get home til 7am. Work with my parents at 9:30am, they obviously weren’t pleased this morning. They kicked off, my dad said that I should be sacked as I’m not worth shit, blah blah ****ing blah, same shit different ****ing day dad. Have the balls to say it to my face but you don’t, because you’re fake and you say it behind my back. I got really really angry and ended up putting my fist throw the bathroom window.
Mum wanted to have a chat with me and a lot of emotion and anger came out, followed by way too many tears. My parents problem is they don’t understand how much of an emotional wreck I am. I do stuff without thinking about it or thinking it’s a good idea, but in reality it maybe isn’t. They’re on top of me twice as much as normal, and it’s getting too much. Monday I didn’t want to go to GM and now I want to go tomorrow. Every day is an emotional rollercoaster, it’s draining. They don’t understand that gamblers only understand 1 thing – gambling. We’ve lived for so long doing sleep gamble eat repeat, that we have lost all consciousness of the world and it’s surroundings. We don’t value money, friends, family, love, food, time, love, emotions, feelings, NOTHING. I have to relearn all these things every other human being knows. My parents don’t get that. They don’t get that I’m effectively a baby that has a gambling problem.
Just wanted to get that off my chest. I had a great night but a shit morning, my hand hurts like **** and my Dad wont even look me in the face – nothing new there then.
ARGHHHHH take it easy.
EDIT: I have read all your comments but I don’t have the time nor the energy to reply at the moment. I’m struggling to post 1 thing just on here…
MrExon