Hi all,
Quick update! 193 days since that fateful day. £3000 down chasing a loss of £1800 that day. The funny thing is, do I miss the money? Nope
I am a huge believer in self improvement and what resonates with me was the above person who jumped straight on my thread and asked what was I doing differently this time round? I took that as not only how are you stopping gambling and making changes, but a total life overhaul! I broke it down into several categories!
Money – well money comes and goes. Loads of ways to rational it. I could argue that I learnt a lesson or I paid £5k over six months to never gamble again. I paultry sum as compared to a lifetime of gambling that we could all face. The simple truth is, the money simply does not matter. It does however force us to address the serious points of gambling…….time lost, relationships, anxiety, shame, fear. Is that fleeting rush really worth giving all that up? I say no. So a quick review of finances and six months later over 8k of a 15k debt paid off, 5k due to gambling! I could argue my gambling debt is well and truely paid. But is the debt to myself, the sleepless nights and self loathing? I don’t have any of that now……but the two hours or so I spent gambling is nothing compared to the weeks and months spent anxious, depressed and typically not yourself. Money comes and goes……..it’s gone, accept it. Even if we win, it goes back in and more. It’s a self destructing roller coaster.
Negative emotions – well speaking out really helps. Asking for friends for support, loved ones, family members! Two of my friends know, they helped me no end. Just talking, especially in the early stages of recovery. Forums and chat rooms really help. Following advice (my initial thread showed what I do). I focuses on the time/money/location triangle and never let up. The funny thing is, from not having time to gamble, my life is filled of cool stuff, great people and great plans that are achievable! Gambling doesn’t get a look in. As for location, can’t gamble at home, have had so much opportunity in recent months to do it elsewhere but have not even thought about it. I just see these flashing machines, adverts on to and computer and a bookie on every corner as a product of a gilded generation and poison to society. How our government allows such a risk to people to be glamorised, accepted and promoted is beyond me. Yes, I was once a victim, but never again! I even watched a poor fellow human stuff nite after note into a FOBT at a service station today. I wanted to shake the guy by the head and stop him, but I just sat there and drank my coffee and left shaking my head. But I was THAT stupid once. As for money, I have always had full access to my own money, cards and accounts. Money being paid off quickly but the best bit is when deciding on a purchase I justify it by thinking, well what is £20 when you stuffed £3k one night into an online fruity! Take the £20 item, enjoy it because that is money better spent than gambling.
I suppose I have learnt a lot about myself. But it only works when you say enough is enough. I have stuck to that and always will. I hate gambling in all forms, even pass on the various office sweepstakes. Lottery is a no no, anything that is wagering money is off the table. In a week I celebrate 200 days. I do not feel bad about it anymore……it’s the past, the future is amazing but only if we are gamble free.
If you are reading this and want a better life, be strong and say no. Don’t give gambling a chance, give yourself one. It’s possible to quit, let the losses go, set up a plan and stick to it!
Will post in a couple of months. One day at a time…….it works 🙂