the 50th day, still i need another 40 days to overcome the financial consequences of the last relapse. i believe my mode will be much better at that stage, and I will back to have extra money. my loan will be finished, I will have only the loan from my family.
i have gone far in the financial recovery I have been in very deep hole, I could have recover a year back or so but the few relapses that i had cost me this extra year ( we learn from our experiences) I hope i will stay strong and i will not relapse again.
in general everything is fine in regards to the gambling no more urges,
but the regret and the low mode is the problem as of now, I don’t have that much load at work to keeps me busy, the thoughts about the mistakes that i have done keeps me in low mode.
It seems i need a few years of 100% dedication and focus to recover from all the consequences of this addiction, I am really 5 to 8 years behind in almost every aspect of my life (financially, friends, family & marriage, work …etc) in the last two years I have done some good progress in some aspects it seems the regret feeling will not go until I recover in all these aspects.
a strange thought came now as I am typing the above paragraph is it “chasing losses” similar to chasing the financial losses but i am now chasing the losses in each aspect my life ??
and this what keeps me feel in low mode and keeps the regret feeling?? and i have to stop chasing these years of losses in each aspect of my life to feel good again?