Hi Gem!
I hope you don’t have any objection to someone from “The Other Side” dropping in to visit your thread.
As A CG, I find it interesting to read what goes on in the minds of spouses, family and friends of other gamblers.
I guess the reason, I am interested is that I never found out what effect my gambling had on my husband , simply because he just remained shtum and never expressed his thoughts or feelings. It has baffled me from day one. Many times (mainly when I needed a bale out) I would pour out all my transgressions to him and his only reaction was to hand over more money, in silence.
Why would a non CG do that?
I don’t expect answers, really. Just thinking out loud . When I read threads with posts sharing measures “F and Fs” go to in an effort to support their loved ones, I can’t help asking “Would I have stopped gambling earlier if I had been given that support?”
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I know it must drive you nuts watching him tapping on his phone all the time Gem. I annoys me to see ANYONE do what, when I am in their company.
One of the “tips” (excuse the pun) for online gamblers, is to change to a phone that can be used only for texts and calls.
Keep the lines of communication open Gem.
Secrecy , silence and isolation were a few of the things that kept me gambling.
I started attending GA a few weeks ago . Conscious, of course that “what is said in the Room, stays in the Room”, part of me was bursting to tell him some of my experience. He never asked!
Attending GA made me feel surreal. It will take time to adjust. I smiled when I read about your dream. Just for the record, GA is very much a “man thing” from my limited observation. 12 to 15 men and ME at every meeting I attended so far and I’m old enough to be their mother . “Toy boys” only go for wealthy old dolls so that rules me out!
In a few years time you will look back on this period of your life and it will be a distant memory , but “himself” will always be a CG and so will I!
Thanks for allowing me to share.
