Hi Jansdad, I have kept up to date with this thread for some reason and I do believe you know it is possible for you to live gambling free.
I am quite shocked though at the post above telling the tale of when your wife was in hospital and you gambled away your car money.Not shocked at the deceitfulness of your actions, but shocked that you can laugh at this. It may well have been unpleasant for you at that time getting disapproving looks from a particular nurse, but nothing compared to what your wife must have been feeling.
Anyway I wasn’t really posting to pass comment on that, sadly and sickly that is the typical rational of a CG; selfish and oblivious to the feelings and thoughts of others.
Its good to see you are on day 8 but not so good to see that you havn’t mentioned any steps that you are taking to keep yourself gamble free. I think we have all been in your position and we know how very difficult it is.
In answer to a question you posed earlier in this thread I also believe we can learn “not to gamble” but that it will happen over a period of many years. Before we learn how to live without gambling I think we need to learn how live again, how to be honest, how to think straight and how to deal with our feelings and emotions.
I dont fight gambling urges very well at all, thankfully Ive learned how to live life without them.
In my own experience gambling had become a crutch for me to get through life, as well as an escape, my “safe place” for when life got too tough. What ever it took I would gamble at any price, sod the consequences, I would gamble. I have learned though that by dealing with lifes issues, or at least talking about them I dont get bogged down with worries, I have a much clearer mind and dont need to escape.
Its good youve found this place and you can share, but I must admit that if you go to bed and weigh up the pros and cons of a gambling session, you are allowing gambling to lead you in to temptation. Full credit to you for not gambling there is no reason why you should. But please for your own sake get some barriers in place. Fundamental barriers like giving all of your atm cards to your wife or a friend.
If you havnt got all your bill money for this/next month that is tough..but you will have to face up to the people you owe and come to some sort of repaymnent plan with them.
I can only express my own opinion in an effort to support you and in my opinion I would reckon that if you really really want to stop gambling you would concentrate your efforts on finding a counsellor (I think GT can help with this).
You can change but in order to do so you really must be honest with yourself above all else. Your wife also needs support for herself if shes suffered at the hands of your gambling for years, you owe it to her to be honest. Tell her you last gambled 8 days ago, by hiding it you arent being honest with her shes your wife and really dosn’t deserve this.
Wishing you every success.
Geordie.