Day#22,
it is nice to see the count is increasing, to be honest, I need to reach day#67 by then I will not have any overdue payments and I will be current with all my bills and payments, after that, I need to plan the next step in financial recovery, but I am calculating if I stayed gamble free I will reach to zero at day#778, after that, I need another 18 months to reach to the very basic and Normal life, that I need to live. it is in a total of 1318 days.
considering no bad or good surprises a 3 and a half years. is the minimum time to move from the miss that I am in today to a normal life that I need to live.
it is a very deep hole, I know the odds are against me, and I know I have an 85% chance to relapse within a such long period, but hay it is worth to keep trying.
how sad it is that “living a normal life” becomes a dream that is hard to achieve.
I know I have to do a lot of work on myself during that period, there are a lot of wounds that need to be healed, and a lot of mess that needs to be organized within me and around me. it is a long road full of mines any wrong step will put me down so I have to walk it slowly and think deeply before stepping any step.