Hi Don,
thank you for your answer, I think I will take the hard road. but what scares me is I took the hard road before and paid my loans just to pile them again, it seems each time my credit record goes up I have to destroy it again to protect myself.
I was reading a book a few days ago, the name of the book is (Evidence-Based Treatments for Problem Gambling, by Katy ONeill) it is a short book of around 100 pages but I think it is worth reading.
I Like some analogies she wrote in the 2nd chapter (Psychoeducation for Problem Gambling):
one of them is the below:
” we can seemingly simultaneously hold two inconsistent beliefs despite our factual knowledge. In the case of gambling – a client may be simultaneously torn between thoughts about going gambling and thoughts about resisting the urge; thoughts acknowledging the possibility of losing while simultaneously believing one is on the verge of a big win ”
and the analogy of Ulysses and the sirens in the end of the same chapter and after a brief introduction about the story, she wrote:
” Ulysses did not blindly trust that the strength of his current motivation to get home would endure through the future high-risk situation of hearing the sirens’ song. He understood that motivation is not a fixed state – it is susceptible to environmental influences – our beliefs are somewhat state-dependent and can change. He knew motivation was not enough; he needed planning and strategy. He undertook a functional analysis of his high-risk situation. He used a range of creative strategies, wax to prevent the crew from hearing the song (stimulus control) and rope to tie himself to the mast to prevent himself from responding.
Ulysses and the sirens is a good metaphor for dealing with cravings that we cannot avoid.”
this is not new information to me or to anyone here, but I think adding this mythological story was a good analogy that keeps us reminded of the fact that we have to plan ahead and not trust our willpower.