Hi K
I do wonder whether I would have handled things differently if I had, had knowledge of the addiction to gamble. I believe that it is easier for it to get out of hand if loved ones are unaware. I don’t dwell in the past but if I had been aware then I would have done things differently and perhaps ended the ghastliness earlier. It’s why I keep going here – if I can stop anybody making my mistakes it’s worth it.
Having facilitated here for many years and having ‘met’ hundreds of family members who are bewildered, angry and frightened I know that it is possible to get things right. F&F do not tend to return to this forum once they are out of the shadow of addiction but I do believe that there has been more success than failure, simply by learning what the addiction means to the gambler and how to support the right way. You have the advantage on both these counts.
However, it is important to use knowledge wisely. It takes time for an addiction to really take hold and it takes time for it to be controlled – so patience (buckets of it) is required. It may be a well-hacked expression but ‘taking one day at a time’ is the best way forward for all of us.
I would imagine that your son will struggle to believe that you, even with your wealth of knowledge, can understand him. In my opinion he will believe that his problem is unique to him so how can you understand? Maybe I’m wrong but ………………
He sounds as though he is prepared to tackle his problem in a mature way which is great – there might be slips along the way but you know yourself, that even a slip can make a gambler more determined to succeed.
I hope that Dames is standing shoulder to shoulder with you over this – it makes such a difference when there is a united front.
Anyway, I will stop rabbiting and send this – I look forward to hearing from you.
10 years gamble-free – fantastic, I knew you could do it.
As Ever
V