Today I felt insanely vulnerable. I took my car in for a standard oil change and found out rats have completely eaten my break lines. My dealership wouldn’t let me drive my car which is brand new out of there. I was so angry I had to walk it off and find gratitude that they found it before I got in an accident. And also that the rental car place was across the road so I had wheels right away. I actually broke down to the girl that had to give me the news. I never cry like that to anyone especially a stranger but I was just in a rough spot with feeling like my life’s in shambles already and it just made me feel super uncomfortable. I live really far away from civilization and My car is my lifeline that’s why I bought a brand new one so I’d feel safe on my own. It was a loss of control moment on alot of levels. I ended up picking up my friend to go to the beach after but I was so bent out of shape I could feel myself shift into this f life moment super quick. I realized that being that vulnerable made me feel really weak and scared. There was a solution though I got a car for now, they’re fixing it asap so I’ll probably have it by mid next week. It’s really something I have to just let go and relax about it. It might set me back some cash but I do have money saved for emergencies now since I quit gambling. This type of stuff happens its life. This is even more reason for me to be grateful that I’ve been putting money away for these type of issues. Not having security scares me to death now that I don’t have a double income with my ex. Today I did not have to gamble when I felt stressed and vulnerable. The kicker is the casino is literally 2 steps beside the dealership. I didn’t even bat an eyelash at it or think about it so that made me insanely proud today
