I took a holiday day yesterday to try to get a few things done and get a bit of a break. I am getting tired. Working two jobs can be tiring and when you add on summer, heat and gardening in any of the spare time that I have, I am feeling like a break is necessary. I have an adult daughter who is acting out a bit and it affecting my sleep. I found out last night that she is seeing someone new and has been lying about where she has been going and spent the night at his place. I’m pretty liberal and not prone to judge these kinds of things but I do insist that she tell me where she is going and whom she is with when she is out as well as when she will be expected home. I dont ever stop her from going anywhere she wants and find her sneaking around to be unnecessary and irritating. I understand that she wants to develop a relationship more before she tells me but I feel that she still needs to be careful….anyways, the urge to gamble was quite strong yesterday as my mind was dealing with the lack of control and uncertainty of the situation. I was in the garage for other reasons and even looked at the container where i have the laptop that i can use to gamble but did not open it. I walked away, closed the door and am happy i did. If this was two months ago, i would have been playing to forget the things that made me feel out of control. Today I try to deal with things head on, try to identify what is making me feel stressed and deal with it as soon as possible. All of the bills, all of the companies that have been calling, I have called them back. I have payment arrangements and am making amends for what i have done. I guess it’s like the twelve step program, just my own way. I am quite proud of myself. I had the opportunity and the stressors but did not cave in this time. This is real progress for me. Today I am tired, but I am happy and satisfied with my day yesterday. I hope everyone is strong and gamble free today
