@losingitalways. Thank you for your message. It seems like I am seeing my future in your story which is kind of scary to even think, but I really hope and believe that this is my lowest point even though it may not be the lowest point for others. I have never missed any payments and I would like to believe that I am taking good care of my people, house or anything that needs taking care of in my life, but I know now that I can get to another lowest point If I don’t stop right now. This is why I am determined this time. My first goal is to get through 5th or 6th and pay off $800 that I owe to capital one. I will close that card once I have paid that off, so that I no longer have access to that card. In terms of my other credit cards with larger credit limits combining around $25k, I will simply give all my credit cards to my parents until I am confident and will only use my debit card from now on. I need to plan this out from now. the other step I am going to take right now is transfer money to my father’s account every month until I am sure that I can handle my money. My father probably has an idea that I gamble but we don’t talk about it. I used to feel that it was enough that I was paying off the mortgage and taking care of some of the fixed expenses but in the hindsight, I believe that I am not being fair not just to myself but to my people as well. I work hard to earn this money and I could easily save $4-5k every month after all expenses paid which is almost equal to the maximum jackpot of the slot machine’s games where I regularly pay. We don’t have any big casinos near our house, so my go to place is rather a small place with limited players and jackpots. I am somewhat relieved today that I am still positive on day 2 of gambling free thoughts. I just need to instill these positive thoughts into my mind every day, so that it becomes a habit. I don’t remember where I heard this, but someone said that it takes 30 days to break a habit and I can’t wait for Aug. 21, 2022 to come.
- This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by jaymay22.