I am a person of extremes. I swing from one to another and get totally enveloped in the mood and devote very much time and effort maintaining my extremes. I have learned to avoid certain situations because going to extremes in them can be dangerous to my health. I am in an extreme mode now to deal with my finances and am enjoying it to the full amount I can. It gives me focus and relief knowing that I can try to undo all of the damage that I have caused. I was thinking back to only 7 years ago when I had no debt and had savings and lived a relatively stress free life (financially that is) but was in absolute hell in the rest of my life. One of my extremes is relationships and I was ending a 7 year live in relationship that was getting messy. My job was hell and was making me sick. I was a walking time bomb. Gambling came in at about that time and was my escape for a long time. I am out of that relationship and out of that job and dont need to gamble to escape anymore. I must make sure that I keep my life clean and devoid of excess stress and then I can heal and focus on my new life, job and health and put that part of my life behind me. I will pinch my pennies and make my amends and be the person that I know I can be. Its inside us all to be gamble free, we just have to find the part of us that is stronger than it is and bring it out. Walking down another street, having a new focus and letting the things that drag us down go is part of our healing and a part of life in general. Absolution for our mistakes is something we must give ourselves in order to move on. I was in a bad spot doing bad things for 7 years or so, some years worse than others. I will spend the next 7 being mindful and respectful and treating myself better. Here is to the next 7 years without the crutch of gambling to get me through.
