I awoke early today feeling fresh and renewed. I have begun to feel that the situation is not hopeless and that, due to covid and all the crap that comes with it, I am in the same boat as many, struggling to make payments and looking for a bit of time to make things right. I am hopeful that i can make things better and am taking the steps to do so. By focusing on making my life right I am taking the time away from making it worse. I dont have the inclination to gamble anymore because my brain is much more focused on making my life better. I guess i hit my rock bottom at this point and am starting to climb back up. I have taken the only means of gambling and put it away so that any effort to try to gamble will be a bit laborious and give me time to change my mind. I dont have the time to go to casinos because I am working 7 days a week to make things right. I am making payment plans with creditors and adhering to them so I have no cash available to gamble and have the entire picture of what I have done to myself, financially, in my mind every day of my week. I am making my amends and facing up to what I have done and it feels good and bad at the same time. I no longer have the fear and dread lurking below the surface. I face my fears and deal with things and it empowers me. I hope that anyone out there who is having to face the fight everyday finds strength in facing their enemy and their fears and has the hope to be victorious.
