Today was the best day I’ve had in a really long time. Both gambling and being in a toxic relationship made me loose who i was over the last 2 years. That and covid isolation didn’t help. I went to a ska and reggae music festival for the first time in years and danced harder than I have in along time. Music’s always been a huge part of who I am and I felt like I lost that. I used to DJ and be apart of alot of the club and music festival scene for most of my life.I also found an awesome car show on the way home that I checked out which was also a huge part of my life it was a big part of why I got into sheet metal because I wanted to learn to restore old cars. As I walked around these beautiful cars I almost cried because I finally felt like I’m me again. The time I spend gambling made me feel old and boring as hell. But I’m still in my mid 30s I want to enjoy my life again. I was going to be a professional dancer when I was younger and I lost the confidence to even try going out and doing what i love over these few years. I just let my hair down and did not care if I looked stupid or not. I had people come up to me today and told me they were impressed with my energy and what drug was i on lol. I used to be part of the rave seen when I was younger so I guess I still somewhat dance like that and people assume I use drugs still because of my energy level. But I took it as a compliment more than anything else. If I was still gambling I’d have zero confidence to put myself out there like that again. I’m just happy that I’m letting myself be free and not isolate anymore I have way to much life to experience still.
