normally I like to be positive, but really I have some bad days now, overwhelmed with life, everything falls apart, and I need to fix everything.
it is like going out of jail after 8 years, or waking up from a coma that lasted 8 years. and now you have to face life. and it is even worst. because I lost my self-confidence, I lost my trust that I can get things right, I am getting older, and everything is urgent and needs to be fixed. and I piled up debt that I need 3 years to pay back if I paid every extra penny after paying my bills.
I know I can’t fix everything at once, and I know it will take a long time to fix it all. but I am really not motivated, I have tried to take one aspect at a time, I thought this could motivate me, I started with weight and physical health, and last week I followed a diet and I start losing weight. but I am not happy or motivated about it. or about anything else.
I have tried to focus on living one day at a time and focus on what I can do on that day, but I am bad at it. I can’t take the full mess out of my mind and focus on the day. my issues are popping up on my mind from time to time to screw my day.
I guess I should try some medication for depression it could help me to pass the days until the thing gets better with time.