I have noticed that the more that I try to monitor and curb my behavior these days the more paranoid I feel about controlling what is going on around me. When I was gambling I was slowly losing control of every facet of my life but didnt seem to notice or care. I have stated contacting all of the companies that I owe money to because of missed payments and arrangements are being made to catch up, which is great, but I am starting to feel nagging paranoia about anything I feel outside my control, and it is making me feel a bit off kilter. Anyone else feel that when they were starting recovery? I have always been a bit (ok maybe more than a bit) of a control freak and his is making the ground under my feet feel a bit more unstable. I am hoping that it goes away in time because I do not feel good being this hyper vigilant all of the time. Perhaps it is for the best so that I am much less likely to relapse. Hope everyone has a great day.
