Welcome nkalei. I totally understand where you are coming from and have had the same feelings of disbelief at my own recklessness for quite a while. I , too, am an online casino addict. It all starts the same way. We never start out trying to hurt anyone, including ourselves, but this type of addiction is sinister in nature and will take everything you have, including your family, if you let it. The best thing you could have done is gamban. It is essential that it be on all of your devices though or it will not work. I put it on my laptop but then started playing on my iPad, then hen I put it on that I started playing on my phone. I’ve relapsed on my daughters laptop so, as you can see, in the beginning you will need to put it on anything that you can play on. It’s good that you do not have access to land based casinos as it would be more tempting when you try to stop, but watch when you are travelling that you dont start entertaining ideas of going to those. Its good that you told your family but as you can see, it’s not going to stop the behavior at this point. The brain is tricking you at every turn to play and you need to put as many blocks in place at this point until you are better able to resist the urges. You’ve made a good start, just know that your brain will be trying to resist any more attempts to stop so make sure that you stifle any and all ways to gamble electronically before it starts to figure out ways to bypass your attempts. I’ve been there. Keep posting. Stay strong.
