Hi Kin, losingitall and Velvet, its so nice to read your posts and being very honest I wasnt going to post on here but always feel the need to help and support others when I see posts on this forum (I am very slack and dont read enough currently but promise that will change)
Being honest since my last post I have had a total nightmare, as always mostly my own doing, always working hard and paying the bills as I always have but been in and out off gambling not seeming to exhaust my addiction as I know I can with the correct tools.
I am opening up with all my heart now and that wasnt the plan and I am in risk of exposing myself but I will take that chance in the hope this share helps others as I also known it will help myself, I have to start by saying many times I have been a compulsive liar (the reason I state this is because this post is 100% truth and you will have to take my word on that), I have said many times if I dont stop gambling like I did it will kill me…..well that statement is so very true !
About 7 weeks ago I went on a mad gambling spree (usual excuses many family and also work stresses I couldnt cope with life and just hit my go to setting….gamble like a mad man to get my brain out of the real world), anyway this went on for 3 x days and the next morning in the early hours I had a heart attack at home in my bed, I got rushed into hospital the usual test, ECG showed I had a heart attack, the troponin levels after 3 x blood test were all sky high indicating I had a massive heart attack and being truthful it felt that way I can promise you, so I was in hospital awaiting an angiogram (where they put a camera in to check your heart), the consultant said you have either serious heart damage or we may be lucky and just have to insert a stent, they did what they did and when carrying out the angiogram (I was awake and talking to the consultant), he couldnt see any heart damage and when the dye went through the arteries all flowed free and well, when he was talking to me he couldnt really explain but put it down to massive stress and suspect causing one of the arteries to close and then release at a later date, I have to 100% put this down to the stresses my gambling caused me, I share this to explain this addiction kills us in many different ways, I could never believe my gambling would cause me to have a heart attack and nearly kill me, but it does and we dont understand the stresses we put on the body, I am not old I dont mind sharing I am now 45, this recent turn of events really knocked me for six, I cannot lie there were other things adding to the stresses in my life but my gambling was the main issue and I know that foe sure.
I am slowly on the mend, but really felt the need to share this as it is so important to explain, gambling can and will kill us in many different ways if we let it, I will keep trying to stay gamble free one day at a time but currently I am just trying to stay alive one day at a time but by staying gamble free that helps my cause.
Always wish you all my very best
Maverick