@ Losingitslowly,
Thank you for all you’ve said. You are right, no matter how many times I tell myself I’m done, that other voice creeps in and says “no, you can win if you do the strategy better,” or “no, you sat at the wrong table last time, if you do it differently this time, you can make a living off of this, go, try again, there is no other legal way you can make money this fast and easy,” so then I listen to that voice and relapse, and then when I leave home empty handed I feel so stupid and guilty.
This has been a repetitive routine for me. It also isn’t good that the “strategy” has worked sometimes. That keeps reinforcing my attempts to try again (my relapses). Even though the reasonable voice in my head says the inevitable losses are coming (as I’ve said before in my posts), the irrational addict voice says “no, if you do it well enough you can keep winning.”
I am fighting to get out of this. I am, but I am being honest about this battle/war and its struggles.