Hi DE
Charles is right, loved ones cannot support unless they know what the problem is – but it is easier for them when you are seeking help and trying to change.
Loved ones often feel
Guilt because they hadn’t noticed there was a problem;
Failure because they assume that it is possibly their fault.
Confusion about what to do now they have the knowledge but do not understand what it means, or what to do next.
Knowledge gives us all power over matters that confuse us.
Hearing a loved one has a gambling problem can often results in very harsh words being said, due to natural ignorance.
It is what happens next that matters.
It took me months to adjust to the information that my son was a compulsive gambler and I doubt I handled it well at all at the beginning. I went to Gam-Anon which is the sister group of Gamblers Anonymous. I educated myself at the beginning and went on to further education to help myself and ultimately my son. However, it was my son who helped me to understand more than anybody else what a gambling addiction really means and you have that insight, help them as gently as you can – you will need patience.
I facilitate the Friends and Family groups here and I would be delighted to welcome anybody you felt would benefit from understanding that support means everything to a gambler who wants to change his/her life.
If you choose to tell friends first, I think it is important that you tell them that you are already seeking and getting help but you would like their support but not opinions. Sadly, opinions can often be ignorant and unhelpful even if they are understandable
Keep posting. My son changed his life 15 years ago and lives a wonderful, gamble-free life. I had to learn that he had to learn to trust me. Loved ones don’t always get it right but unless we are told there is nothing we can do.
I wish you well
Velvet