Thank you for everything @ Losingitslowly.
Unfortunately, I relapsed again yesterday. It’s 2am right now where I’m at. Yesterday on Mother’s Day, I had urges of being in a better financial situation to maybe get my mom something nicer as I’ll be seeing her later today (so I’ll be celebrating Mother’s Day with her today).
Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, because maybe I’ll quit now, but to be honest, I’ve told myself several times before this that I’d quit), I lost, but of course I couldn’t stop after I lost the amount I was supposed to stop at. I pulled out some more from my debit card and lost some more. I only had 200 dollars left to my name after that and could not bring myself to go get and bet that because it would have hurt me too much if I didn’t even have the gas to make it to see my mom later today.
I’m sick. I recognize that. Not only am I sick, I’m broke. Not only am I sick and broke, but I don’t see a way out of this struggle.