We win, if I’m on point it’s because I speak from experience. My gambling was a slow build, starting from just playing little bits of free money that the casinos would give you to gradually spending my bank limits of $1000 per day when I had the cash. I’ve lost lots over the last decade and am at a point where I really cant lose more or it will be my home next. I HAVE TO stop and it’s time for me to take a good look at myself and what I’ve done and fix it. That’s it. When I talk about punching yourself in the face until unrecognizable (metaphorically speaking) I had been doing the same to myself for the last few years. The end result was that I had become an unreliable mother and employee who was missing days and days of work due to gambling and my professional reputation was in ruins. I had spent over 30 years building my career and reputation only to have my vice tear it to shreds. Even my family suffered at the hands of my addiction as I would not show up to family functions or if I did it was unshowered and in pajamas. It was not me. I had transformed into something unrecognizable. I am getting better now in all fields and it is because the fog has cleared and my focus has returned. It’s not that I dont think about gambling ever, it’s that its hold on me has lessened and the pull is just not there. I can make decisions whether I want to or not based on a number of factors and not just based on an urge that is all consuming. It happens, but only after you abstain for long enough to release its grip, and you have to white knuckle it if possible until that time. If you dont break its hold on you then you will never be able to use that part of your brain that it has taken over. Think of it as a drug. Or alcohol. Whatever necessary so that you gain the perspective that it’s got a hold on you. It’s not a system that you have, it’s a system that has you. You are at its mercy every time you try it because it takes over. Do whatever you need to shake the monkey.
