Day#5,
I am feeling good today, got a lot of work done at work, and I had a good sleep yesterday.
I think the withdrawal symptoms are faded away, now I have just to deal with the PAWS that will come from time to time.
yesterday after combining all my relapses, I figured out that out of the last 7 years since I get hooked with this addiction cumulatively I lived only 2 to 3 years maximum, the rest was wasted in gambling addiction or depression after the addiction. no wonder I didn’t progress in life,
I have relapsed on an average once every 45 days to 2 months, and the relapse will continue from a week to 3 weeks, followed by depression that will last for 1 week or 2 weeks, so roughly I can say for each month of the last 7 years I lived a week or 10 days maximum as a functional human being. and it is even worst than that because for that 1 week to 10days I will be suffering financially from the losses that will prevent me from living normally.
given the above, I am not wondering why I didn’t progress in life or work or any aspect of life, how you can do any progress if you are living in such a cycle for all these years.
I am really glad that I didn’t lose my job during that period.