I am taking a day off today to go and visit with my sister and am taking my daughter as well. Covid has done a number on the fabric of our family and I have not been able to visit with her for quite a few months, so I took a vacation day from job 1 to take a few things to her and to spend some time catching up. My daughter took a turn for the worse yesterday and was crying for most of the time after I left the house to go to job 2 and so my mom stepped in and spent some time with her. It’s at times like these that I appreciate being gamble free because I can be there for her more emotionally if not physically. I think about all of the times that I was there, home, and would not take a moment away from my slots to even have a real conversation with anyone. I would turn off my phone so no one would bother me and I was unavailable so often that people stopped trying. I am hoping now that this has changed and that people will come back to me and my circles will develop again. I dont have a lot of time to spend with others outside of my immediate family and work, but I am willing to try to spend the extra time that I have with others instead of by myself with the slots. It is officially 30 days today and I feel like I ha e hit my first milestone. I am concerned that I still try to open emails from casinos to see if I can play, and thankfully I cant, but I still try. I still want to gamble. I am missing the feeling. I am hoping that I never can get through and that my own resolve not to gamble becomes even stronger as time passes. Have a great weekend and I hope you are all strong and gamble free today
