I was feeling frustrated today as my aunt forced me to do all the paperwork to start legal action towards her tenant. She’s not well so I understand why she can’t do it herself but I got overwhelmed with all the information you need. I filled out as much as I could. There was a brief moment where I turned to anger and thought about walking up to this asshole and beating the crap out of him. I boxed and played in a male hockey league growing up so even though I’m a girl I no how to throw down lol. I had to sit and deep breathe like crazy to try and get myself out of the visual of throwing this guy in the industrial sized bin we ordered for all his hoarded crap. I’ve been meditating alot lately so I quickly centered myself. I got my dog and walked him and decided to drive into the city. I phoned my ex and told him i was bringing his dog to visit him. We sat and talked for awhile and I finally opened up and told him he needed psychological help because he has a dual personality and that other person scares the shit out of me. He actually listened to me and agreed that he needed to get some help so today was a big success for me. I was able to be honest and communicate what I’ve wanted to say for years. I was able to tell him my gambling started as a way to escape being with him i was so terrified of who he became but i was also numbing my other mental health issues from trauma. I told him it was my fault of course for becoming a gambling addict but that when I started it was when I wanted to leave him do to this demonic type personality that developed in him. For some reason he wanted to still no how much money I had left. So I was honest and said not much. There’s nothing he can say to that. I dont no why he cares maybe he wanted some of it who knows. I have enough to survive by myself on plus I have a trailer to sell so I’ll be fine ,not rich, but I’ll be able to live ok with my job and some savings. My financial situation has definitely improved and I’m paying my debts down now to.
